Friday, July 1, 2011

To my friends, from the nawth as well as

from the south. Sit down with a glass of sweet

tea, and enjoy ....if you don't, well then bless

your pea-pickin heart..

Southern women know their summer

weather report: 


Southern women know their

vacation spots:

The beach
The rivuh
 The crick

Southern women know everybody's first



Southern women know the movies that

speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias
 Gone With the Wind

Southern women know their religions:


Southern women know their cities

dripping with Southern charm:

Chawl'stn S'vanah
 Foat Wuth 


Southern women know their elegant


Men in uniform
 Men in tuxedos 


Southern girls know their prime real


The Mall
The Country Club
 The Beauty


Southern girls know the 3 deadly


Having bad hair and nails 
Having bad

Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:

Only a Southerner knows the difference

between a hissie fit and a conniption fit,

and that you don't "HAVE" them, you

"PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish,

collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans,

etc.., make up "a mess." 

Only a Southerner can show or point out to

you the general direction of” yonder."


Only a Southerner knows exactly

how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to

town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that"Gimme

some sugar" is not a request for the white,

granular sweet substance that sits in a

pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when

by and by" is. They might not use the

term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that

the best gesture of solace for a neighbor

who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried

chicken and a big bowl of cold potato

salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana


Only Southerners grow up knowing the

difference between "right near” and "a

right far piece."

They also know that "just down the road"

can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and

understands, the difference between a

redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white


No true Southerner would ever assume that

the car with the flashing turn signal is

actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be

used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb..

Only Southerners make friends while

standing in lines, .... and when we're "in

line,"... we talk to everybody! 

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of

them will discover they're related, even if

only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is


Southerners know grits come from corn and

how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with

eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly

wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a

breakfast food; and that fried green

tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 

When you hear someone say, "Well, I

caught myself lookin'," you know you are

in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"

and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the

need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not

like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk"

means you don't want buttermilk. _____

And a true Southerner knows you don't

scream obscenities at little old ladies who

drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,

Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little

embarrassed by your Southerness: Take

two tent revivals and a dose of sausage

gravy and call me in the morning. Bless

your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a

hard time understanding all this Southern

stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are

fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a

second language! 

And for those that are not from the South

but have lived here for a long time, all y'all

need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch

that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got

here as fast as I could." 

Southern girls know men may come and

go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, You understand all this

if you are someone who was raised in the

South or wish they had been! If you're a

Northern transplant, bless your little

heart, fake it. We know you got here as

fast as you could!

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