Monday, December 24, 2012

I Just Realized Something!!!!


     It just hit me!

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup,
 and again during the year, if any medical
 needs arise.
For this he pays nothing, and nothing is
 required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house 
that is much larger than he needs, but he
 is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations 
absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely 
no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others 
who earn a living.
I was just thinking about all this and 
suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks.........

My dog is a CONGRESSMAN !!!!!!! 

(Watchout!! Term Limits are a'comin).

Monday, December 17, 2012


Number 1:

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. 

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ..... 

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' 

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.' 

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?' 

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' 

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' 

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' 

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes
 in preparation for your daily duties?' 

A: 'Yes sir, we do!' 

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' 

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.' 

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.' 

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock
 your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' 

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known
 to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

Number 2: 
Now We Know Why He Was a General ----- 

In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. 

His answer was classic Schwarzkopf. 

The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."



Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages? 
"Oh, no ma'am, we don't go there to talk."

Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai .
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.' Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.' Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!' Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!' Air Defense Site: ( ... total silence) 

God bless our troops. There is something about our military that makes other countries listen to reason.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Great Irish Logic

An old Irishman was asked,
"At your ripe old age, which would you

prefer to get – Parkinson’s or Alzheimer's?"

The Irishman replied, "Bejesus,

definitely Parkinson’s!

Better to spill half an ounce

of whiskey than to forget where

you keep the bottle!"

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Fiscal Cliff Resolution

 I'm a Republican and think we should acknowledge Obama's election victory and give him his tax cut for those making less than $250K, and an increase for the upper 2%. However, Bohner has a good suggestion about closing loopholes and deductions for the wealthy. These should be identified and evaluated and those that only affect the upper 2% could be used to exempt more people from increases, say incomes up to $700K.
Having done this we Republicans should demand cuts in entitlements. To be fair we should try to avoid imposition on the infirm, elderly and unfortunate. We should start with Washington entitlements. Congress should give up their free postage, dining rooms, gyms, haircuts, air fares and parking spaces at the airport and outrageous retirement program. They should shop for health and retirement with the rest of us. In addition, their base salary of $174K is excessive. They only work about 60 days, or 1/6 of a year, so their salary should be $29K. Leaders in the House and Senate could be 50% more. Congressional staff works much longer, but should be capped and $100K. Political appointees, such as the various czars are generally independently wealthy and could have their salaries capped at a similar figure. During the 10 months that Congress is not in session, the Capitol building should be closed for cleaning then turn off utilities. Any necessary meeting can be conducted in lobbyists' offices or their hotel rooms.
The President should also reduce his entitlements even though he needs to be able to move about the country. However, he should trade in Air Force One and purchase a Lear Jet. He doesn't need all that room, and the media moochers that feel entitled to a free ride, can begin to support our airline economy. Camp David is another huge entitlement of the presidency. When not in official use, it should be rented out as luxury spa for the 2%.
The military currently has 50 four-star generals. During WWII, we probably only had a total of less than 10. So retire 40, and cap the positions at a max of 10 and reduce the underling generals similarly. Also, limit military purchases to no more than the military requests. Stop buying stuff they don't want.
Now that is a balanced approach to solving our national debt problem.
When these actions are completed, then we can see what other revenue increases and/or entitlement cuts are necessary. In the meantime, the two political parties can begin acting like adults.

Monday, December 10, 2012

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

These are NOT Holiday Trees
They are NOT Winter Festival trees
They are NOT Hanukkah bushes

They are NOT Allah plants
They are Christmas trees.
Say it... Christmas, 
Christmas, CHRISTmas
Yes CHRISTmas -not Holiday
We are not celebrating the birth of a Holiday !!!

We are Celebrating the Birth of Jesus Christ!!!
So I would like to say to each and everyone of you
Have a Very
Merry CHRISTMASand may GOD BLESS each and every one of you!!!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Heart Attacks

Heart Attack info on New Aspirin

Read and heed!

This can't be read TOO many times!!!!!

This is good info.
We did not know that you
should not lie down
while waiting for the EMT 

Heart attack info NEW ASPIRIN
Serious stuff, no joke!! 
Just a reminder to all: purchase a box,
keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet,

bedside, etc.


Something that we can do to help ourselves.
 Nice to know.
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve under the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside?

About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left arm. 
One must also be aware of an
intense pain on the chin,
as well as
nausea and lots of sweating,
however these symptoms may also occur less frequently. 
 There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack
The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep,
did not wake up. 
However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.
If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water
Afterwards: CALL 911

say "heart attack!"
say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and...

DO NOT lie down

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

New PGA Rule Changes for Seniors

New PGA Rule Changes for Seniors

Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed

on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or

rolled into the rough with no penalty.  The senior should

not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers

failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (B)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit

the tree.  This is simply bad luck and luck has no

place in a scientific game.  The senior player must

estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it

had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.B.3(G)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball.  The missing

ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found

and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. 

The player is not to compound the felony by charging

himself or herself with a penalty.

Rule 4. c .7( h )
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is

deemed to have dropped.  The law of gravity

supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5.
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they

could be blown in, may be blown in.  This does

not apply to balls more than three inches from

the hole.  No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Rule 6.a.9( k )

There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds."

  If penny-pinching golf course owners bought

sufficient land, this would not occur..  The senior

golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7..G.15( z )
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard,

golf balls should float.  Senior golfers should not

be penalized for manufacturers' shortcomings.

Rule 8.k.9( S)

Advertisements claim that golf scores can be

improved by purchasing new golf equipment. 

Since this is financially impractical for many

senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be

subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these

important rule changes.