Friday, December 31, 2010


Probably my favorite DC politico in Lindsey Graham, maybe it's his South Carolina drawl, or maybe it's because he was in the Air Force, but he usually seems to make sense. I don't particularly care for anyone else in the Washington scene.

He frequently doesn't vote the way I want, but I have to remember the sage advice that my friend Porter Goss told me when we were on the Lee County Commission, “If you do your job right, you will please about 54% of your constituents by your vote---however after about ten votes you will have alienated them all”.

Porter later was a US Rep. & CIA Director.)

I was disappointed when Lindsey said the DREAM act or nothing else about “illegal aliens” would get passed until the border was secured.

Now lets think about border security for a minute. President Bush tried to correct the situation but was blocked by legislators on both sides of the aisle, but he did make funding available for a humongous wall across our southern border. President Obama significantly increased the border patrol and even sent down about 1000 troops. Now with the influx of tea party members, what do you think the chances are that they will allow more funding of any kind to stop the illegal immigration? If anything, there will be less money available. The number of emigrants that were deported in 2010 (over 300,000) will undoubtedly decline. So, it looks like the DREAM Act is dead again, for a while.

This bipartisan Act was first introduced in 2001 and several times since. The latest attempt, sponsored by Durban(D) and Lugar(R) couldn't get the necessary 60 vote majority in the Senate. It would have allowed children (under 16) who were brought into this country by their illegal alien parents, to have an opportunity to become citizens. These children did not break our immigration laws, which is the chief complaint against “undocumented aliens”. If these “children” complete two years of college or military service, along with some other requirements, they would be eligible to become citizens. Our military think it would be a good deal for recruitment.

I realize stopping the illegal immigration is necessary, but until it is curtailed, think of what happens to the innocent children. They are subject to being deported to some land they have never seen or remember, and may not even speak the language. For their entire lives they are in peril.

If Lindsey Graham, is serious about blocking DREAM, he should get serious about immigration reform and quit kicking the can down the street.

He could start by streamlining the path and quota for Mexican workers to legally come into our country. We need them and they need us. It's a myth to think Americans will take the jobs of Mexican workers in our country. Many of our unemployed would be unable to withstand the rigors of weeks of bending over in the fields, or climbing citrus trees. In addition, they wouldn't have time to look for a more suitable job. If streamlining can be accomplished, many migrants will return to their native country so that they can have legal access. That would save us the expense of deportation.

Next, everyone, including migrants must have a valid SS number with a “I” suffix, and be subject to withholding tax, for social security, medicare, and income tax., just like citizens. Duplications could be pick up immediately by SS administrators and provide notification to the employer and immigration. There would be no need to carry “papers”.

However, it's hard to think of our Congress doing anything that makes sense unless they see some political advantage. They don't want to make waves and endanger their lofty position and ridiculous salaries and perks. In the mean time, Senator Graham, I'm awaiting your next 9 votes. Hopefully one will fall my way.

Friday, December 24, 2010

My Christmas Gift To You



I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch. Now I hope everyone else has---


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holiday Cooking Tips

Just in case you're planning to do a little cooking.

To keep potatoes from budding,

Place an apple in the bag with the potatoes 

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix.

Keeps in the pantry for up to a year. 

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan,

Use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and

There won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery!

Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting

In the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.


Never heard of it! 

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and

Rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 

Take a lime, mix it with tequila,

Chill and drink!

All your pains go away! 

Don't throw out all that leftover wine.

Freeze into ice cubes for future use

In casseroles and sauces. 

Leftover wine???????


Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the idea.

You'll Love This

Those fabulous Jewish

You may remember the
old Jewish Catskill comics of

Vaudeville days:

Shecky Greene, Red
, Totie

, Milton
, Jan

Murray, Danny

, Buddy
, Sid
, Groucho
Jackie Mason,Victor
, Woody
, Joan
Lenny Bruce, George
, Allan
, Jerry
Peter Sellers, Carl
, Shelley
, Gene
George Jessel,
Alan King,
Mel Brooks, Phil

, Rodney
, Don
, Jack

and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in
their comedy. Here are a few examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure
trip. I took my
mother-in-law to the airport.

* I've been in love with the same woman
for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill

* What are three words a woman never wants to
hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"

* Someone stole all my credit cards but I
won't be

reporting it. The thief spends
less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go,
she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where
we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed
in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where
we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and
looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to
live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him
another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying,
"Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. " Mrs. Cohen
answered, "So did my arthritis!"

* Doctor: "You'll
live to be 60!"
Patient: "I
am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell

* Patient: "I
have a ringing in my ears."

Doctor: "Don't

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge
says, "You've been brought here for

The drunk says "Okay, let's get

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.

The Harvard School of Medicine
did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that
spelled backward is Not

There is a big controversy on the
Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition,
the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from
medical school.

Q: Why
don't Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol
interferes with their suffering.


Q: Why
do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They
never let anyone finish a sentence!

A man called his mother in
Florida ,

"Mom, how are you?"

" Not too good," said the
mother. "I've been very weak."

The son said, "Why are you so
weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38

The son said, "That's terrible.

Why haven't you eaten in 38

The mother answered,

"Because I didn't want my mouth to
be filled with food if you should call."

A Jewish boy comes home from school and
tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks,

"What part is it?"

The boy says, "I play the part of
the Jewish husband."

"The mother scowls and says, "Go
back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

Q: How
many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: (Sigh) "Don't
bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to

Short summary of every Jewish

They tried to kill us. We won.
Let's eat.

Did you hear about the bum who walked
up to a Jewish mother on the street and said,
"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."

"Force yourself," she

Q: What's
the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

A: Eventually,
the Rottweiler lets go.

Q: Why
are Jewish men circumcised?

A: Because
Jewish women don't like anything that Isn't 20% off.

Monday, December 20, 2010

This Year and Next Year!!!


Not fair to make judgment of this until you see what the Fire Chief says !!!!

South Los Angeles , a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire.
 A Mexican family of six, all welfare recipients and gang members lived on the first floor, they died.
An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.
6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Bangers, & ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died.

A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.

Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and why only the white couple lived?

The fire chief said, "They were at work."

Dear Lord, please keep your arm around myshoulder and your hand over my mouth... Amen

Next Year

There were probably many, many times this year when:

I may have.....

Disturbed You,

Troubled You

Pestered You

Irritated You

Bugged You

got on your Nerves

So, today I just wanted to tell you......





Suck it up Cupcake!!

Cause there



Thoughts and Words to Remember

This is wonderfuland the thought at the end is so true!

Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up.


To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to a premature baby..

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:


Hold on tight to the ones you love!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

For my lefty friends-Merry Christmas

Be Grateful :
For the room-lighting smile:

For the mind that always thinks:

For preventing a second Great Depression caused by Bush:
For the humor:

For bringing the number of women in the Supreme Court to 3.:
For making the White House the people’s house:
For 1.1 million jobs created in 2010 alone, more than the entire 8 years of George Bush:
For The Penny Ice Creamery in Santa Cruz, California:
For the love of people:

And family:

For the First Lady:

For Health Care reform:
For leaving the past behind:

For the world loving America again:

For quietly and calmly dealing with crisis after crisis, even if not being responsible for any of them:
For being so cool:

And fierce:

And curious:
And imperfect….
And not giving a damn…
And compassionate:

And an inspiration:

For saving the auto industry and at least 1.4 million jobs:
For loving the troops:

And understanding the horrible price:

And bringing 100,000 men and women back from Iraq:

For facing the most difficult and loneliest job in the world with grace, dignity, honesty and guts:

And despite all the hate, pettiness, racism, corruption and immaturity around, still being the most progressive and ‘for the people’ president in decades:
And simply for this:
Being our elected President