Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Men's Rules

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered


1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost

every question.

1. Come to us with a problem

only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an


In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1.. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and

one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the

other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it , just do it


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to

say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default


Peach, for example, is a fruit, is not a

color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We

will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything

you wear is fine...

Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you

are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like


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