Friday, August 19, 2011

Good Ole Will Rogers



Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane

crash, was one of the


greatest political sages this country has

ever known. Some of his sayings:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a

woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop

digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money

is to fold it and put it back into your

pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones

that learn by reading. The few who learn

by observation. The rest of them have to

pee on the electric fence and find out for

themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience,

and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take

a look back every now and then to make

sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole

lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain

lion felt so good he started roaring.


He kept it up until a hunter came along and

shot him. The moral: When you're full of

bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~Eventually you will reach a point

when you stop lying about your age and

start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their

odometers. Not me; I want people to

know why I look this way. I've traveled a

long way, and some of the roads weren't

paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and

would like to go back to youth, think of

Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when

everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill

without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one

tells you about aging is that it's such a nice

change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see

how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being

old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and

beat the ground with sticks, it was called

witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

No comments:

Post a Comment