1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
before shooting at them.
it is time to change the sheets.
included in the will, it is still rude to
drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.
1. When decanting wine, make sure that
you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so
as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle,
always hold it with your hands.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:
1. A centerpiece for the table should never
be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table,
no matter how good his manners are.
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly,
this is a job that should be done in private
using one's OWN truck keys.
a waste of good money.
bathing for a few days.
a social no-no, as they tend to detract
from a woman's jewelry and alter the
taste of finger foods.
DATING (Outside the Family):
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook,
especially on the first date.
interested: "I've been wanting to go out
with you since I read that stuff on the
bathroom wall two years ago."
she is expected back. Some will say
10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday.."
If the latter is the answer, it is the man's
responsibility to get her to school on time.
1. Crying babies should be taken to the
lobby and picked up immediately after
the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters
on the screen. Tests have proven
they can't hear you.
1. Livestock is usually a poor choice
for a wedding gift.
5 seconds may get you shot.
A leisure suit with a cummerbund and
a clean bowling shirt can create a
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to
socks and shoes for this special occasion.
1. Dim your headlights for approaching
vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and
the deer is in sight.
the vehicle with the largest tires does
not always have the right of way.
hose and duct tape.
road with a gas can, it is impolite to
ask her to bring back beer too.
in a funeral procession.