THESE ARE ACTUAL ENTRIES FOR A
COMPETITION IN THE WASHINGTON POST WHICH ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE POEM WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2. I see your face when I'm dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you're not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss;
but I only slept with you 'cause I was dis'd.
5. I thought that I could love no other,
---that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet & so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty...and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace:
But don't take the paper bag off of your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies.
9. My feelings for you no words can tell,
except for maybe, "Go to hell".
10.What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?
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