Wednesday, September 18, 2013


For  those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton,
 see what you missed. His humor was always clean 
and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of 
 great 'one liner's' from the man who was
 known for his clean humour.


1. Two  times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food  and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also  sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas  ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way  back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our  anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I  suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she  shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric  bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit  down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car  wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked  where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and  looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the  garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said,  "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of  divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name  was ' Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't  like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife  asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just  hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when  humor
didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It  was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the  words,

"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his  face.

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