Tuesday, September 17, 2013


·  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.· 

When chemists die, they barium.· 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.· 

A soldier who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  
               He says he can stop any time.
·  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.· 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  
          Then it dawned on me.

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.· 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.· 

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.· 

This dyslexic man walks into a bra.· 

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.· 

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.· 

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.· 

What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit

Broken pencils are pointless.· 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A

 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.· 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.· 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.· 

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. 

Police say they have nothing to go on.· 

I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.· 

Velcro - what a rip off!· 

Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

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