Monday, December 26, 2011

The Baptist Church Dinner

Baptist Church wanted to get together

on a regular basis, socialize, and play

games. The lady of the house was to

prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to

be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo

all the others. She decided to have

mushroom-smothered steak. But

mushrooms are expensive. She then

told her husband, "No mushrooms.

They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in

the pasture and pick some of those

mushrooms? There are plenty in

the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild

mushrooms are poison." 

He said, "Well, I see varmints

eating them and they're OK."

So Janet decided to give it a

try.. She picked a bunch, washed,

sliced, and diced them for her

smothered steak. 

Then she went out on the back

porch and gave Ol' Spot

(the yard dog) a double handful.

Ol' Spot ate every bite. All

morning long, Janet watched

Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms

didn't seem to affect him, so

she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success,

and Janet even hired a helper

lady from town to help her

serve. After everyone had

finished, they relaxed, socialized,

and played '42' and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady

came in and whispered in

Janet's ear.

She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot

is dead."

Janet went into hysterics.

After she finally calmed down,

she called the doctor and told
him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but

I think we can take care of it. I will

call for an ambulance and I will

be there as quickly as possible.

We'll give everyone enemas and

we will pump out everyone's

stomach. Everything will be fine.

Just keep them calm.."

Soon they could hear the siren

as the ambulance was coming

down the road.

The EMTs and the doctor had

their suitcases, syringes, and

a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each

person into the bathroom, gave

them an enema, and pumped

out their stomach.

After the last one was finished,

the doctor came out and said,

"I think everything will be fine

now," and he left. They were

all looking pretty weak sitting

around the living room and about

this time the helper lady came in

and whispered to Janet, "You

know, that fellow that run over

Ol' Spot never even stopped."

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