Monday, December 26, 2011

The Baptist Church Dinner


Baptist Church wanted to get together

 
on a regular basis, socialize, and play

 
games. The lady of the house was to

 
prepare the meal.


When it came time for Al and Janet to

 
be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo

 
all the others. She decided to have

 
mushroom-smothered steak. But

 
mushrooms are expensive. She then

 
told her husband, "No mushrooms.

 
They are too high."


He said, "Why don't you go down in

 
the pasture and pick some of those

 
mushrooms? There are plenty in

 
the creek bed."


She said, "No, some wild

 
mushrooms are poison." 



He said, "Well, I see varmints

 
eating them and they're OK."

 
So Janet decided to give it a

 
try.. She picked a bunch, washed,

 
sliced, and diced them for her

 
smothered steak. 



Then she went out on the back

 
porch and gave Ol' Spot

 
(the yard dog) a double handful.

 
Ol' Spot ate every bite. All

 
morning long, Janet watched

 
Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms

 
didn't seem to affect him, so

 
she decided to use them.


The meal was a great success,

 
and Janet even hired a helper

 
lady from town to help her

 
serve. After everyone had

 
finished, they relaxed, socialized,

 
and played '42' and dominoes.

 
About then, the helper lady

 
came in and whispered in

 
Janet's ear.


She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot

 
is dead."


Janet went into hysterics.


After she finally calmed down,

 
she called the doctor and told
him what had happened.


The doctor said, "That's bad, but

 
I think we can take care of it. I will

 
call for an ambulance and I will

 
be there as quickly as possible.

 
We'll give everyone enemas and

 
we will pump out everyone's

 
stomach. Everything will be fine.

 
Just keep them calm.."


Soon they could hear the siren

 
as the ambulance was coming

 
down the road.


The EMTs and the doctor had

 
their suitcases, syringes, and

 
a stomach pump.


One by one, they took each

 
person into the bathroom, gave

 
them an enema, and pumped

 
out their stomach.


After the last one was finished,

 
the doctor came out and said,

 
"I think everything will be fine

 
now," and he left. They were

 
all looking pretty weak sitting

 
around the living room and about

 
this time the helper lady came in

 
and whispered to Janet, "You

 
know, that fellow that run over

 
Ol' Spot never even stopped."

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