Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Texas Tails

Subject: So Dry in Texas it's affecting Church work


It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to

baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using

wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-

checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine

to turn back into water.

Now THAT's Dry

The Baptist Preacher & The Texas Cowboy...

A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy

on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the preacher if

he would like a drink.

Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be

tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-

repute, than let liquor touch my lips."

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the

attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we

had a choice."

A preacher in Dallas was making his rounds on a bicycle,

when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn

mower. 'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the


'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,'

said the little boy. After a moment of consideration, the

preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after

riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got

yourself a deal.'

The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He

pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the


The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get

this mower to start.'

The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to

get it started.'

The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I

became a Christian that I don't even remember how to


The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep

pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.

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