Let's Keep This Going Thru July 4th

Happy 4th of July!.... Let' s get this started ,NOW!  So it will be out there on the fourth! I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE  FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS,  ONE NATION UNDER  GOD,  INDIVISIBLE,  WITH  LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!  KEEP IT LIT!! KEEP IT LIT!  For all of our other military personnel, where ever they may be.  Please Support all of the troops defending our Country. And God Bless our Military  who are protecting our Country for our Freedom. Thanks to them, and their sacrifices, we can celebrate the 4th of July. We must never forget who gets the credit for the freedoms we have,  of which we should be eternally grateful.  I watched the flag pass by one day. It fluttered in the breeze. A young Marine saluted it, And then he stood at ease. I looked at him in uniform; so young, so tall, so proud. With hair cut square and eyes alert, he'd stand out in any crowd. I thought how many men like him had fallen through the years. How many died on foreign soil; how many mothers' tears? How many pilots' planes shot down? How many died at sea? How many foxholes were soldiers' graves? NO, FREEDOM ISN'T FREE ! I heard the sound of Taps one night, when everything was still. I listened to the bugler play And felt a sudden chill. I wondered just how many times That Taps had meant 'Amen.'  When a flag had draped a coffin of a brother or a friend. I thought of all the children, of the mothers and the wives, of fathers, sons and husbands With interrupted lives. I thought about a graveyard At the bottom of the sea.  Of unmarked graves in  Arlington . NO FREEDOM ISN'T FREE Enjoy Your Freedom  and God Bless Our Troops. When you receive this,  please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen.   Of all the gifts you could give a U.S. Soldier, prayer is the very best one.

The end is near

Sean is the pastor of a Church of England

parish on the Northern Ireland / Southern

Ireland border and Patrick is the priest in

the Roman Catholic Church across the

road.. 
 


One day they are seen together, erecting

a sign into the ground, which says:



TA END IS NEAR! 


TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW 


AFOR IT IS TOO LATE!



As a car speeds past them, the driver

leans out his window and yells,

"Leave people alone, you Oirish

religious nutters! We don't need

your lectures."



From the next curve they hear screeching

tyres and a big splash.   


  
Shaking his head, Rev. Patrick says

"Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."   
 


"Yaa," Pastor Sean agrees, then asks,

"Do ya tink maybe da sign should just say,

'Bridge Out?'"

MY LAST TRIP TO SAM’S CLUB

It’s a dog’s life, after all J Yesterday I was at my local Sam’s Club buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sam’s Club won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

Double Entendre

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds   2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do   3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage   4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with   5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate   6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets   7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living   8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist   9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does   10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money 11. MISTY: How golfers create divots   12. PARADOX: Two physicians!!   13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower   14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm   15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with   16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!!   17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring   18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife   19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does   20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government