humor and wisdom
MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write."MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!"ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac , you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:"Desert, schmesert! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica.