Golf

What sex is a computer?

A  SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike  English, nouns are designated as either masculine or  feminine.  'House'  for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: el lapiz.'  A student then asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'  Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.  The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.  The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;  2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. It comes as no surprise ...the women won ...

More Old Stuff

Old Folks

Nursing home plans

Medicare - Part G - Nursing Home Plan       Say you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.  So, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G), and four bullets.  You are allowed to shoot four politicians. This means, of course, that you'll be sent to prison where you'll  receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating & air conditioning, cable TV, library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth?  No problem.  Need glasses?  That's great.  Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They're all covered.    As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this?  The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home. (And, you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you're at it) ... And now, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes.    Is this a great country or what? Now that we've solved your senior financial planning, enjoy your week ..

Air conditioned auto

The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner 
Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. 
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 


The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.


They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.


They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.


The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.


The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.


Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.


They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --


Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.




Control yourself !


This is what happens when you are retired and have too much time on your hands !

Pious ponders