KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO.......... >

> Alabama Hell Yes, We Have Electricity > > Alaska 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! > > Arizona Yes, But It's A Dry Heat. > > Arkansas Lituracy Ain't Everythang. > > California By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda. > > Colorado If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother. > > Connecticut Like Massachusetts, only smaller. > > Delaware We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water. > > Florida Ask Us About Our Grandkids > And Our Voting Skills. > > Georgia We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism. > > Hawaii Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru ( Death To Mainland Scum,       Leave Your Money) > > Idaho More Than Just Potatoes... > Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good > > Illinois Please, Don't Pronounce the "S" > > Indiana 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free > > Iowa We Do Amazing Things With Corn > > Kansas First Of The Rectangle States > > Kentucky Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names > > Louisiana We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism > Campaign. > > Maine We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster > > Maryland If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It > > Massachusetts Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's > > Michigan First Line Of Defense From The Canadians > > Minnesota 10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes > Mississippi Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State > > Missouri Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work > > Montana Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and > Honest Elections! > > Nebraska Ask About Our State Motto Contest > > Nevada Hookers and Poker! > > New Hampshire Go Away And Leave Us Alone > > New Jersey You Want A ##$%##! Motto? > I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here! > > New Mexico Lizards Make Excellent Pets > > New York You Have The Right To Remain Silent, > You Have The Right To An Attorney.. And No Right To Self Defense! > > North Carolina Tobacco Is A Vegetable > > North Dakota We Really Are One Of The 50 States! > > Ohio At Least We're Not Michigan > > Oklahoma Like The Play, But No Singing > > Oregon Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner > > Pennsylvania Cook With Coal > > Rhode Island We're Not REALLY An Island > > South Carolina Remember The Civil War? > Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet > > South Dakota Closer Than North Dakota > > Tennessee Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum. > > Texas Se Hable Ingles > > Utah Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus > > Vermont Too liberal for the Kennedys > > Virginia Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? > > Washington Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor! > > West Virginia One Big Happy Family...Really! > > Wisconsin Come Cut the Cheese! > > Wyoming > Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared > Home of Brokeback Mtn. > The District of Columbia  The Work-Free Drug Place! >

Finally the answer

And That, My Friends, Is  Why The  Chicken  Crossed  The  Road. ************************

Welcome Home

My Kind Of Teacher

My Kind Of Teacher Should have one of his kind in every school! My kind of teacher (I'm still laughing!) This one is dedicated to all my friends who ever taught school, parented children or served their country. A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. There was dead silence. He had no trouble with discipline that year

Ann Margret....

This story deserves repeating


This is a good counter-balance story

to the Jane Fonda,
" Vietnam Woman

Of The Year," story. 


Viet Nam 1966

 

Richard, (my husband), never really 

talked a lot about his time in Viet

Nam , other than he had been shot

by a sniper. However, he had a

rather grainy, 8 x 10 black and white

 photo he had taken at a USO show

of Ann Margret with Bob Hope in

the background that was one of his

 treasures. 

A few years ago, Ann

Margret was doing a book signing

at a local bookstore. Richard

wanted to see if he could get her

to 
sign the treasured photo so he

arrived at the bookstore at 12

o'clock for the 7:30 signing. 

When

I got there after work, the line

went all the way around the

bookstore, circled the parking

lot, and disappeared behind a

parking garage. Before her

appearance, bookstore employees

 announced that she would sign

only her book and no memorabilia

would be permitted. 

Richard was

 disappointed, but wanted to show

her the photo and let her know

how much those shows meant

to lonely GI's so far from home.

Ann Margret came out looking 

as beautiful as ever and, as second

in line, it was soon Richard's

turn. 

He presented the book for

her signature and then took

out the photo. When he did,

there were many shouts from

 the employees that she would not

sign it. Richard said, "I

understand. I just wanted her

to see it." 

She took one look at

the photo, tears welled up in her

eyes and she said, "This is one

of my gentlemen from Viet Nam

and I most certainly will sign his

photo. I know what these men

did for their country and I always

have time for 'my gentlemen.'' 



With that, she pulled Richard

across the table and planted a big

kiss on him. She then made quite

a to-do about the bravery of the

young men she met over the

years, how much she admired

them, and how much she

appreciated them.. There weren't

too many dry eyes among those

close enough to hear. She then

posed for pictures and acted as

if he were the only one there.

 

Later at dinner, Richard was

very quiet. When I asked if he'd

like to talk about it, my big, strong

 husband broke down in tears..

''That's the first time anyone

ever thanked me for my time in

the Army,'' he said. 



That night was a turning point for

him. He walked a little straighter

and, for the first time in years,

was proud to have been a Vet. I'll

never forget Ann Margret for her

 graciousness and how much that

small act of kindness meant to

 my husband. 

I now make it a point 

to say 'Thank you' to every person

I come across who served in our

Armed Forces. Freedom does

not come cheap and I am grateful

for all those who have served

their country. 

If you'd like to pass

on this story, feel free to do so.

Perhaps it will help others to

become aware of how important

it is to acknowledge the

contribution our service people

 make.

The Dark Side of Women

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.  She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second.   In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.           It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU.  The woman told the doctorto inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.                      As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital.  She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop.  She was jubilant.                      Then she remembered her husband.  Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.  The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!?  I hope you're proud of yourself!  While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit!  It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take!  For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care.  And he will now be your career!"                      The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.                      The woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you.  He's dead.  Show me what you bought."