humor and wisdom
Lexiphiles (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . ..
you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . . or, I
wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me . . . .etc.).
Well, here we go!.To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.A dentist and a manicurist married . . . They fought tooth and nail.A will is a . . . dead giveaway.If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog your memory.A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two tired.In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four secondsThe guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.