humor and wisdom
Lovers of words (“you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish”
or… “I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me”.etc.)
· To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
· When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
· A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
· When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
· The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
· The batteries were given out free of charge.
· A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
· A will is a dead giveaway.
· If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
· With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
· Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
· You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
· Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
· A boiled egg is hard to beat.
· When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
· Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
· Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
· If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
· A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
· In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
· When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
· The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
· He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
· Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
· When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
· Acupuncture: a jab well done.THE MAYOR