Southern Charm

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the Californiawoman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.. Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet. Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?" The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a $#&%" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart"..

Hey Marcel, watch this.

Always Put the Paint in the Trunk

Pictures of accident on St Johns Bridge .... The people in the blue car had a (5 gallon) bucket of paint on the back seat. The ambulance driver wouldn't let the female paramedic out of the ambulance because she couldn't stop laughing. -- He said it wasn't professional.

The Ant

This Is Just Simply...

“Brilliant”...

x

The Ant was a teacher.

It's not a good time to be an ant.

Old Folks

Gold

Gold

You can hardly watch TV for more than a few

minutes without viewing a commercial to buy gold.

They make you feel like an idiot if you don't

have gold in your portfolio. I'm not so sure

and maybe you can help me out.

I used to have a next door neighbor who

was president of a local bank. He invested

in gold Krugerrands (a South African gold coin).

It sorta seemed like a good idea, but then I got

to thinking (uh oh). Where would I store them?

The one ounce coin is heavier than the old US

silver dollars. I used to have some of the old

silver dollars, but they were too heavy and would

wear out your pockets. Just think what a couple

Krugerrands would do. If I had them today and

stored them in my side pocket, my wife would

become rich, getting them out of the creases

in my lounge chair,

then she might trade me in for a new sports

model. I could put them in my hip

pocket, where there wouldn't be as much wear,

but then I might be mistaken for a plumber,

when the weight pulled down my pants

and exposes my heiny. So I dismissed the idea.

A couple years ago, I again considered the idea.

Gold was going for about 1 K/oz. I even

called my local bank to see if they had

Krugerrands. The cashier I talked to said

she had some in her drawer. I thought

seriously about getting 6 coins, one for

each of our kids. But again, what would

they do with them? Carry one around, and if

it doesn't wear a hole in your pocket and drop

through, or get held up by a thief,

or they would have to buy a safe to put

it in, or get a safety deposit box.

So!!! I nixed the idea.

One day after watching a commercial, I called

a gold company. They asked me how much

I wanted to invest. I didn't really want to

invest, but I said, “Oh!!, maybe I'll start

out with a quarter million. The salesman got

real excited and said they could select a nice

selection of gold coins for me with a

minimum mark-up. Hmmmm.

I had no idea what a variety of gold coins

would be worth, but I would bet the salesman

would know, and garner a substantial

commission on my purchase. I then said I

was really interested in bullion (buying by weight).

That way, knowing the current value of gold,

I would be able to calculate the commission.

The salesman was no longer interested. SURPRISE!!!!

Gold is now hovering around 1.5K/oz.

Just think I could have made 50% on my

investment a few years ago. (If I could find someone

willing to buy) With our economy in trouble,

and the politicians quibbling about whether

or not to go into bankruptcy, wouldn't it

be nice to have some gold stashed away?

I could bite off a little piece of a krugerrand,

and give it to the guy at the window

of McDonalds for a burger and coffee.

Or, I could cut it in half and pay to put

15 gallons of gas in my car. I don't think I'll

do that. I think I'll be much more at home and

at ease with some of my fellow peasants.

Perhaps I should stick with investing in the

golden arches. What do you think?

Or, maybe we can gather our pitchforks

and gently prod our elected representatives

to begin acting like adults and in the best

interest of our country, not their party.

Then we won't have to worry about owning gold.