I think GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn't get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:  1. He went into His Father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God  But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands 2. He had wine with His meals 3. He used olive oil  But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:  1. He never cut His hair 2. He walked around barefoot all the time 3. He started a new religion  But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:  1. He was at peace with nature 2. He ate a lot of fish 3. He talked about the Great Spirit But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:  1. He never got married.. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures .  But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:  1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.  2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.  3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.  (This one is payback for the ladies I've offended, sometimes.)

Morning Smiles

Start your day with a smile, then check out the

6 truths of life at the bottom.

Six Truths in Life 1. You cannot  stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a  physical impossibility. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.  3. And discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now because  you are an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.  6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely  apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

A Few Jokes About the South

These are some oldies, but goodies

Louisiana:  A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...  "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."       When asked  why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana   'cause everythang  happens inLouisiana 20 years later than   in the rest of the  world."       Mississippi: The young man  from Mississippi came running into the store   and said to his buddy,    "Bubba, somebody just stole your   pickup truck from the  parking  lot!" Bubba  replied,    "Did y'all see who it  was?" The young  man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the  license number."        North Carolina:  A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the   side of the road,  and proceeded to put a bouquet of  flowers in front of the car and one  behind it.  Then  he  got back in the car to  wait.       A passerby  studied the scene as he drove by,  and was so  curious, that he turned  around and  went back.  He  asked the fellow what the problem  was.  The man  replied, "I got a flat tahr." -- The passerby  asked,   "But what's with the flowers?"       The man  responded, "When you break down they tell  you to  put flares in  the front and flares in the back.   I  never did understand  it  neither." Tennessee:  A Tennessee  State trooper pulled over a pickup on  I-65.  The trooper asked,    "Got any ID?" -- The driver  replied, "Bout     whut?"  Texas: The Sheriff  pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage   out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff  asked,  "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? --   Don't you see that sign right over your  head."       "Yep,"  he  replied.  "That's why I'm dumpin' it here,  'cause  it says:    'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'  "            ***       Y'all  kin say whut  y'all want 'about the South,  but y'all never  heard o' nobody retirin'  an' movin'  North.

An Old Man and a Ferrari

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, 'what kind of car ya got there, sonny ?' The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO.  It cost half a million dollars ! ' 'That's a lot of money,' says the old man.  'Why does it cost so much?' 'Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside?' 'No problem,' replies the doctor. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right... But I'll stick with my Moped !' Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do.  He floors it, and within 30 seconds  the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be  and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH ! Something whips by him going much faster ! ' What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself. He presses harder on the accelerator  and takes the Ferrari up to 190 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 215 mph, and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, 'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you?' The old man whispers, 'unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!'.