Mountaineers

There's a small town in the mountains of western North Carolina. Nobody in the town had ever gone to college and few had finished High School. However, there was one very smart boy and he got a full scholarship to go to Harvard to study mathematics. His dad was really proud of him. Before the boy was to leave for Harvard, his dad took him to the barber shop. While the boy was in the barber's chair, the father couldn't contain the pride he had in his son, so he told the barber his son had a scholarship to Harvard and said, “Son, say something to the barber in mathematics”. The boy was somewhat taken aback and didn't really know what to say, but he finally blurted out, “Pi R square”. The barber stopped his trimming and walked around in front of the boy, looked him right in the eye and said, “Son, pie are round, cornbread are square”.

Howard was a Carolina Mountaineer. His son approached him one day and said, “Dad, I'm neigh on to 19 now. Don't you think it's time I had some wheels?” Howard responded, “Son, I think you're right. If you bring up your grades and cut your hair, we'll see what we can do about getting you a car.”

A couple of months later, the boy came back to his dad and said, “Look here Dad, I've brought up my grades, what about that car now?.” Howard said, “Son, you grades look much better, but you haven't done anything about your hair.” The boy said, “I've been thinking on that, and I even went to the bible and you know, Jesus never did get a haircut”. Howard replied. “And he walked everywhere he went too.”

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. Was the other Indian crazy or what? "No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate." Just then they saw another cave. The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO!WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!" With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read, "NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN"

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