Not Exactly as I Remember...

Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little, er guy. ********************   Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. ********************   Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. ********************   Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pie man, 'What have you got there?' Said the pie man unto Simon, 'Pies, you dummy !! ********************   Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men. Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again. ********************   Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock. ********************   Georgie Porgy pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry. And when the boys came out to play, He kissed them too 'cause he was gay. ********************   There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad... She got a fur coat, jewels and a sports car. ****************************************************** You have to be old enough to appreciate this. If you don't understand, it is because you are too young!!!