Holy Humor

GOOD SAMARITAN  


A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story

of the Good Samaritan.  She asked the class, "If you saw

a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,

what would you do?"  A thoughtful little girl broke the

hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up." 



DID NOAH FISH? 


A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think

Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" 

"No," replied Johnny.  "How could he, with just two worms." 



THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD  


A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young

class memorize one of the most quoted passages in

the Bible - Psalm 23 .  She gave the youngsters a

month to learn the chapter.   Little Rick was excited

about the task - but he just couldn't remember the

Psalm.   After much practice, he could barely

get past the first line.   On the day that the kids

were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of

the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.   When

it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and

said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and

that's all I need to know." 


UNANSWERED PRAYER


The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that

her father always paused and bowed his head

for a moment before starting his sermon.

One day, she asked him why.  "Well, Honey,

" he began, proud that his daughter was so

observant of his messages.  "I'm asking the

Lord to help me preach a good sermon."  


"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked. 


BEING THANKFUL  


A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy,

"So your mother says your prayers for you each

night?  That's very commendable. What does she say?"


The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" 



ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS  


When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers ,

she would bless every family member, every friend,

and every animal (current and past).  For several

weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer,

Kelli would say, "And all girls."  This soon became

part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.  My

curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli,

why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their

prayers by saying 'All Men'!" 


SAY A PRAYER  


Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner

at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around

the table as the food was being served.  When Little

Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

    "Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer."  said

his mother.  "I don't need to," the boy replied.  "Of

course, you do "his mother insisted.  "We always say a

prayer before eating at our house."  "That's at our house."

Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and

she knows how to cook.