Funnies

You are not drunk 
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.

We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?

 The original point and click interface 
was a Smith & Wesson.

A fool and his money 
can throw one heck of a party.

 "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, 
so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
        USE BIRTH CONTROL

 money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.

 If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.


Red meat is not bad for you 
       Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

<> One good thing about Alzheimer's is 
you get to meet new people every day.

Alabama state motto: 

At least we're not Mississippi

 ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
 MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population

"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in, and first he is green, 
then he turns yellow, and then he's rotten." 

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
 to produce reproductive organs.