Two'fers---On the sauce

I went fishing this morning and after a short time I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him

right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whisky in his mouth.


His eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him into the lake without

incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little while later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth.

Life is good in the South.



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Mother Superior


A 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and, remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little...then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and whispered, "Don't sell that cow"