Insults

These glorious insults are from an era before the 

English language became boiled down to  4-letter words.

A member of Parliament  to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either

 die on the gallows or of some unspeakable  disease."·

"That depends, Sir,"  said Disraeli, "whether I embrace 

your policies or your mistress."·

"He had delusions of  adequacy." -  Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues  I dislike and none of the vices

 I admire." -Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a  man, but I have read many

 obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow·

"He has never been known  to use a word that might

 send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner 

 (about Ernest Hemingway).·

"Thank you for sending  me a copy of your book; 

I'll waste no time reading it." -  Moses Hadas·

"I didn't attend the  funeral, but I sent a nice 

letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain·

"He has no enemies, but  is intensely disliked by

 his friends.." - Oscar Wilde·

"I am enclosing  two tickets to the first night 

of my new play; bring a friend, if you have

 one."  -  George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill·

"Cannot possibly attend  first night, will attend

 second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, 

in  response.·

"I feel so miserable  without you; it's almost 

like having you here." -Stephen Bishop ·

"He is a self-made man  and worships his

 creator." - John Bright·

"I've just learned about  his illness. Let's hope

 it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb·

"He is not only dull  himself; he is the cause

 of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson·

"He is simply a shiver  looking for a spine to

 run up." - Paul Keating·

"In order to avoid being  called a flirt, she

 always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand·

"He loves nature in  spite of what it did to 

him." - Forrest Tucker·

"Why do you sit there  looking like an envelope

 without any address on it?" -  Mark Twain·

"His mother should have  thrown him away 

and kept the stork." - Mae West·

"Some cause happiness  wherever they go;

 others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde·

"He uses statistics as a  drunken man uses

 lamp-posts... for support rather than

 illumination." -   Andrew Lang (1844-1912)·

"He has Van Gogh's ear  for music." - 

 Billy Wilder·

"I've had a perfectly  wonderful evening. 

  But this wasn't it." – Groucho Marx