Best Lawyer Story

The best lawyer story of all time . . . bar none.

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from

the city's most successful lawyer. So aUnited Way volunteer paid the

lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that

even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't

give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to

your community through the United Way ?'

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research  also

show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and

she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh . . . no,

I didn't know  that.'

'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a

disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is

unable  to support his wife and six children?'

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology,

but is cut  off again.

'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's

husband  died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her

penniless with a mortgage  and three children,

one of whom is disabled and another that has  learning

disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'

The humiliatedUnited Way rep, completely beaten, says,

'I'm so  sorry, I had no idea.'

And the lawyer says, 'So . . . if I didn't give any

money to them,  what makes you think I'd give any to you?