Politics 101 - Introduction to Politics

This reminds me of poem sung during my

silly youth -- Birdie, birdie in the sky, drop

some whitewash in my eye;

Now, I'm not mad and I don't cry; I'm just

glad the cows don't fly.

In such way politicians are cows. Here are some more droppings to

appreciate.

| "Politics is the last resort of a scoundrel"

What happens if a politician drowns in a river?

That is pollution.

What happens if all of them drown?

That is solution!!!

We hang the petty thieves and appoint

the great ones to public office.

~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics

are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

Politicians are the same all over.

They promise to build a bridge even

where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody

could become President;

I'm beginning to believe it.

~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who, when they see light

at the end of the tunnel,go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes

from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,

by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

 The Democrats are the party that says government

will make you smarter, taller, richer,and remove the

crabgrass on your lawn.

And the Republicans are the party that says government

doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

~P.J. O'Rourke, American comedian

I offered my opponents a deal: "If they stop telling

lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

A politician is a fellow who will lay down

your life for his country.

~Texas Guinan, 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics

is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the

city it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner,

gold medals 1924 Olympic Games in Paris)

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~Variously attributed to Will Rogers and George Bernard Shaw