A Few Jokes About the South

These are some oldies, but goodies

Louisiana:  A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ...  "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."       When asked  why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana   'cause everythang  happens inLouisiana 20 years later than   in the rest of the  world."       Mississippi: The young man  from Mississippi came running into the store   and said to his buddy,    "Bubba, somebody just stole your   pickup truck from the  parking  lot!" Bubba  replied,    "Did y'all see who it  was?" The young  man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the  license number."        North Carolina:  A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the   side of the road,  and proceeded to put a bouquet of  flowers in front of the car and one  behind it.  Then  he  got back in the car to  wait.       A passerby  studied the scene as he drove by,  and was so  curious, that he turned  around and  went back.  He  asked the fellow what the problem  was.  The man  replied, "I got a flat tahr." -- The passerby  asked,   "But what's with the flowers?"       The man  responded, "When you break down they tell  you to  put flares in  the front and flares in the back.   I  never did understand  it  neither." Tennessee:  A Tennessee  State trooper pulled over a pickup on  I-65.  The trooper asked,    "Got any ID?" -- The driver  replied, "Bout     whut?"  Texas: The Sheriff  pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage   out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff  asked,  "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? --   Don't you see that sign right over your  head."       "Yep,"  he  replied.  "That's why I'm dumpin' it here,  'cause  it says:    'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'  "            ***       Y'all  kin say whut  y'all want 'about the South,  but y'all never  heard o' nobody retirin'  an' movin'  North.