Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands

become coated with grease, your nose will begin

to itch.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when

dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being

watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong

number, you never get a busy signal and someone

always answers.
6. Variation Law -   If you change lines (or traffic lanes),

the one you were in will always move faster than the

one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the  Bath - When the body is fully immersed

in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of

meeting someone you know increases dramatically

when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to

someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the

itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any

event, the people whose seats are furthest from the

aisle, always arrive last They are the ones who will

leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or

the toilet and who leave early before the end of the

performance or the game is over.  The folks in the

aisle seats come early, never move once, have long

gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of

the performance.  The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup

of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something

which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2

people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an

open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a

floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost

of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible

if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the

clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed

mouth gathers no feet.

18.   Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy

 - As soon as you find a product that you really like,

they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an

appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get

there you'll feel better..  But don't make an

appointment, and you'll stay sick.