After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said .... "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.
Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems, eh! ****************************************************************** |
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Denny is out with his friends and stops
by his grandmother's house for a visit.
There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
So Denny and his friends start snacking on them.
When they're ready to leave, his friends say,
"Nice to meet you, ma'am, And thank you for the peanuts."
Then Grandma says,
"You’re welcome.
Eat all ya' want...ever since I lost my dentures,
all I can do is suck the chocolate off 'em."
*****************************
"YOU CAN HAVE JUST ONE CAN
of BEER A WEEK!"
I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW
*************************************************
Advice from Curtis & Leroy:
Limit all US politicians to two terms..
One in office
One in prison ......
Illinois already does this, and it seems to be working for them. Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offered one of the best
quotes I've heard in all this drama about the debt ceiling.
"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told Becky Quick. "You just pass
a law that says, anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all
sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election." |
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