To my friends, from the nawth as well as

from the south. Sit down with a glass of sweet

tea, and enjoy ....if you don't, well then bless

your pea-pickin heart..

Southern women know their summer

weather report: 
Humidity 
Humidity


Humidity



Southern women know their

vacation spots:




The beach
The rivuh
 The crick



Southern women know everybody's first

name:


Honey 
Darlin' 
Shugah



Southern women know the movies that

speak to their hearts:


Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy


Steel Magnolias
 Gone With the Wind



Southern women know their religions:


Baptist 
Methodist
 Football



Southern women know their cities

dripping with Southern charm:


Chawl'stn 
 S'vanah
 Foat Wuth 
N'awlins


Addlanna



Southern women know their elegant

gentlemen:


Men in uniform
 Men in tuxedos 
Rhett

Butler



Southern girls know their prime real

estate:


The Mall
The Country Club
 The Beauty

Salon



Southern girls know the 3 deadly

sins:


Having bad hair and nails 
Having bad

manners 
Cooking bad food



More Suthen-ism's:


Only a Southerner knows the difference

between a hissie fit and a conniption fit,

and that you don't "HAVE" them, you

"PITCH" them.
_____



Only a Southerner knows how many fish,

collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans,

etc.., make up "a mess." 
_____



Only a Southerner can show or point out to

you the general direction of” yonder."


_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly

how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to

town, be back directly."
_____



Even Southern babies know that"Gimme

some sugar" is not a request for the white,

granular sweet substance that sits in a

pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.




All Southerners know exactly when

“by and by" is. They might not use the

term, but they know the concept well.
___



Only a Southerner knows instinctively that

the best gesture of solace for a neighbor

who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried

chicken and a big bowl of cold potato

salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana

puddin! 
_____



Only Southerners grow up knowing the

difference between "right near” and "a

right far piece."

They also know that "just down the road"

can be 1 mile or 20.
_____



Only a Southerner, both knows and

understands, the difference between a

redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white

trash. 
_____



No true Southerner would ever assume that

the car with the flashing turn signal is

actually going to make a turn.
_____



A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be

used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb..
_____



Only Southerners make friends while

standing in lines, .... and when we're "in

line,"... we talk to everybody! 
_____



Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of

them will discover they're related, even if

only by marriage.
_____



In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is

plural.
_____



Southerners know grits come from corn and

how to eat them.
_____



Every Southerner knows tomatoes with

eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly

wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a

breakfast food; and that fried green

tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 
_____



When you hear someone say, "Well, I

caught myself lookin'," you know you are

in the presence of a genuine Southerner!




Only true Southerners say "sweet tea"

and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the

need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not

like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk"

means you don't want buttermilk. _____



And a true Southerner knows you don't

scream obscenities at little old ladies who

drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,

“Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.


To those of you who are still a little

embarrassed by your Southerness: Take

two tent revivals and a dose of sausage

gravy and call me in the morning. Bless

your heart!
_____


And to those of you who are still having a

hard time understanding all this Southern

stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are

fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a

second language! 
_____



And for those that are not from the South

but have lived here for a long time, all y'all

need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch

that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got

here as fast as I could." 




Southern girls know men may come and

go, but friends are fahevah !



Now...... Shugah, You understand all this

if you are someone who was raised in the

South or wish they had been! If you're a

Northern transplant, bless your little

heart, fake it. We know you got here as

fast as you could!