Jobs

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,

but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,

but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,

but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,

but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician,

but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,

but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.

Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,

but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,

but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,

but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,

I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,

but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!!!

You can tell that's really me, can't you............can't you