Aunty Acid

It's so cold…..

Redneck Vacation

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation.

Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

"I'm taking Earlene with me".

Getting Old..............

You're getting old when you don't care where your 
Spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
Every man.  Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to
Go anywhere.

Old age is when you have stopped growing at both 
Ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

Old age is having a choice of two temptations and 
Choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to 
Slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow 
Older, it will avoid you.

The big chill

Now that's cold