Suthanuhs

Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them,
you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going
to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; that scrambled eggs just ain't right without Crystal hot sauce,
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet
little heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
call me in the morning. Bless your little heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There
ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the
magazine!

Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had a'been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little
heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.