LOT OF TRUTH HERE !

Would You marry Again? - Priceless

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married
Again?"

HUSBAND: 
"Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not?
Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of
course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why
wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay,
okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You
would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes
audible groan)

WIFE: "Would
you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure,
it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would
you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where
else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would
you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: 
"Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would
you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That
would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would
you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm
sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would
you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes,
those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would
she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No,
she's left-handed."

WIFE: --
silence --

HUSBAND: 
"Expletive deleted"

Cranky old woman

A cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.  She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security  guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and  criticizing throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had  stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can  of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied,  "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.  She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?" The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going  to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop gavel, the lady's long suffering  husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" The husband said, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."

=

Class Reunion-Priceless !!!!

THIS IS REALLY SCARY

60th High School Reunion, he was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!" The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes” or did she say “No?” He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.  He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.  As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say “Yes” or did you say “No?” "Why you silly man, I said ‘Yes. Yes I will.’ And I meant it with all my heart." The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!”

Geezer Planet

Aunty Acid

It's so cold…..