He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble..

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it
spells 'Theirs...'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know
'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads
weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of
Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old
is comfortable.

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . ..
... . . . AMEN