The Baptist Church Dinner

Baptist Church wanted to get together

 

on a regular basis, socialize, and play

 

games. The lady of the house was to

 

prepare the meal.


When it came time for Al and Janet to

 

be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo

 

all the others. She decided to have

 

mushroom-smothered steak. But

 

mushrooms are expensive. She then

 

told her husband, "No mushrooms.

 

They are too high."


He said, "Why don't you go down in

 

the pasture and pick some of those

 

mushrooms? There are plenty in

 

the creek bed."


She said, "No, some wild

 

mushrooms are poison." 

He said, "Well, I see varmints

 

eating them and they're OK."

 

So Janet decided to give it a

 

try.. She picked a bunch, washed,

 

sliced, and diced them for her

 

smothered steak. 

Then she went out on the back

 

porch and gave Ol' Spot

 

(the yard dog) a double handful.

 

Ol' Spot ate every bite. All

 

morning long, Janet watched

 

Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms

 

didn't seem to affect him, so

 

she decided to use them.


The meal was a great success,

 

and Janet even hired a helper

 

lady from town to help her

 

serve. After everyone had

 

finished, they relaxed, socialized,

 

and played '42' and dominoes.

 

About then, the helper lady

 

came in and whispered in

 

Janet's ear.


She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot

 

is dead."


Janet went into hysterics.


After she finally calmed down,

 

she called the doctor and told

him what had happened.


The doctor said, "That's bad, but

 

I think we can take care of it. I will

 

call for an ambulance and I will

 

be there as quickly as possible.

 

We'll give everyone enemas and

 

we will pump out everyone's

 

stomach. Everything will be fine.

 

Just keep them calm.."


Soon they could hear the siren

 

as the ambulance was coming

 

down the road.


The EMTs and the doctor had

 

their suitcases, syringes, and

 

a stomach pump.


One by one, they took each

 

person into the bathroom, gave

 

them an enema, and pumped

 

out their stomach.


After the last one was finished,

 

the doctor came out and said,

 

"I think everything will be fine

 

now," and he left. They were

 

all looking pretty weak sitting

 

around the living room and about

 

this time the helper lady came in

 

and whispered to Janet, "You

 

know, that fellow that run over

 

Ol' Spot never even stopped."