More Maxine

~ Bill Gates ~

This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom.

Love him or hate him , he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about

eleven things they did not and will not learn in school.

He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings

created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and

how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1:  Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2:  The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something

BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3:  You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4:  If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5:  Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:

They called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,

so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7:  Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring

as they are now.  They got that way from paying your bills,

cleaning your clothes and listening to you

talk about how cool you thought you were:

So before you save the rain forest

from the parasites of your parent's generation,

try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:  Your school may have done away with winners and losers,

but life HAS NOT.  In some schools, they have abolished failing grades

and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.

*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:  Life is not divided into semesters.

You don't get summers off and very few employers

are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

(Do that on your own time.)

Rule 10:  Television is NOT real life.

In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11:  Be nice to nerds.

Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you can read this...thank a Teacher.

If you can read this in English...thank a Soldier!

And for life and everything else you have...thank God!

Smile Cowboy

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was
sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly cowboy who sat calmly
in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy was in his presence..

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The old cowboy replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

‘Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the cowboy.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old cowboy.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The old cowboy calmly replied,

'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'

Prosecutors or persecutors?

I think it's time for Congress to take action to prevent prosecuting attorneys from penalizing innocent people for the misdeeds of corporate America. As just a few examples, Toyota, General Motors, General Electric, Bank of America and a host of other banks, have been fined billions of dollars for their misdeeds. The people committing these deeds are not punished, instead their stockholders and people investing in their hard earned dollars in 401k plans are fined. In a number of cases, the perps are even given bonuses. Our own Governor, escaped prosecution for his company's stealing from medicare. While he walked away with millions, his stockholders had to foot the bill. All this is happening while some Republicans want smaller government and less regulation of these vampires of our free enterprise system. Really?

Taxpayers are, of course, footing the bill for the investigation of the illegal acts. While prosecutors are obviously only interested in enhancing their own stature, and settle the suits for what ever the perps are willing to pay, using other people's money. This way they don't have to spend their time on a length trial.

OK! Representative Posey, Here's a chance for you to shine. Fix it.

More Aging

AGING - ENJOY!!

LOT OF TRUTH HERE !

Would You marry Again? - Priceless

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over
at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married
Again?"

HUSBAND: 
"Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not?
Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of
course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why
wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay,
okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You
would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes
audible groan)

WIFE: "Would
you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure,
it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would
you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where
else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would
you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: 
"Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would
you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That
would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would
you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm
sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would
you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes,
those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would
she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No,
she's left-handed."

WIFE: --
silence --

HUSBAND: 
"Expletive deleted"

Cranky old woman

A cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.  She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security  guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and  criticizing throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had  stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can  of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied,  "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.  She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?" The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going  to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop gavel, the lady's long suffering  husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" The husband said, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."

=

Class Reunion-Priceless !!!!

THIS IS REALLY SCARY

60th High School Reunion, he was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!" The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes” or did she say “No?” He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.  He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.  As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say “Yes” or did you say “No?” "Why you silly man, I said ‘Yes. Yes I will.’ And I meant it with all my heart." The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!”