1) A few clowns short of a circus. 2) A few fries short of a happy meal. 3) The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 4) All foam, no beer. 5) The butter has slipped off his pancake. 6) The cheese slid off his cracker. 7) Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. 8) Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 9) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 10) He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________
______________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words." ___________________________________________
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday. ___________________________________________
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?