Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head, "no.." Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and again shakes her head, "no." The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it afore!"
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took
The melody out of music, The pride out of appearance, The courtesy out of driving, The romance out of love, The commitment out of marriage, The responsibility out of parenthood, The togetherness out of the family, The learning out of education, The service out of patriotism, The Golden Rule from rulers, The nativity scene out of cities, The civility out of behaviour, The refinement out of language, The dedication out of employment, The prudence out of spending, The ambition out of achievement or God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience andtolerancefrom personal relationships and interactions with others
And, we understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I'm the life of the party...... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... With a hammer.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to Get up
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the Time of my life
Spread the laughter Share the cheerLet's be happy While we're here.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.' I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me fromChicago last night.